He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I am in a vortex of obligation.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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