You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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