I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There r osticjed everywhere
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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