So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
