he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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