"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
