Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
