Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
soo... how was my night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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