someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE