Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING