We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂