think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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