Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize