he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
