cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
