his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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