his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
