i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
