so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she pinky promised me she was 18
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
