dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
