Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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