I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
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Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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