I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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