why didn't you poke me back
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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