theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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