he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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