im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
