Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
