last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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