good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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