HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I die, sorry about rent.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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