He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
