I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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