24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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