Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Found your dick twin last night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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