There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
