You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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