now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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