super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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