How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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