I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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