You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
