apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize