What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize