i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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