I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Found your dick twin last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
