only if we run a train.
done.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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