Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
