Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
