You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize