he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
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She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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