Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
