Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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