I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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