Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Alive.
So much puke
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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