put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
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I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
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My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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